There is too much noise out there. Everyone yelling and shouting, with placards and words and tweets. All the anger, the fear, the outrage.
I’m exhausted. I dont know what my role in this is. Continue to show my participation through posts and sharing articles? Back off so that I’m not constantly bombarding the friends that already believe what I believe with the same 5 things? Protest, call, write, resist?
It’s been 3 weeks and it’s getting worse out there but I’m exhausted in here.
There isn’t room enough in this world for all this hate. And I don’t mean the obvious kind. I include all the people calling for #deleteuber because they misunderstood the real events that happened and because it’s easier for us to forward outrage than it is to step back and sift through the facts that elude us. I mean every slight by the other side being blown into epic proportions because any mistake is a naturally a sign of evil intent. On the other hand this time call for constant vigilance – we can never let our guard down because everything matters.
Gaslighting is a term I had never heard of and how I see it everywhere. At every turn. That is the exhaustion I feel. My brain at once poised for attach and yet dulled to any nuanced rebuke.
So in an ironic twist – that which I’m fighting against is winning and breaking me down.
I’ve retreated to my quiet places – writing, yoga and home. I focus on my business and what good, small though it may be, I can create there. I talk to the families we serve. I find solace in the solidity of their lives. In fixing what I can fix.
The yelling must stop. This is not working. My body is rejecting all the noise and with it, any music that might be threaded bewtween.
I focus on the quiet. And pray that the answers will found within.