It never fails. It doesn't matter how many sitters and nannies we introduce to our children, it's never easy to walk out that door.
Because they're not you. And they can never be.
In time, if you're lucky, they become people that love your kids and your kids love. But the reality is that there are many times where it's just a sitter for the day or the week.
And then it really is tough to look your 3 year old in the eye and tell them that yet another someone new will be taking care of them today. It's so very much to ask of them. To trust blindly. And yet they do. Time and time again.
This morning was no different as our summer nanny is off and I have someone temporary taking care of the kids for the day. She seems lovely, really she does. But still. I don't know her. And more importantly, the Bug and the Peanut don't know her.
Some people may say that I'm just being soft – that in the days of our parents there were so many people that would care for kids.
And that's true, yes. But all of those people were people that I knew. Part of the community or the "village" if you will. I recognized that auntie that came over or that neighborhood kid that watched us. It lessened the anxiety and the dread because these weren't strangers just walking in the door.
It's what's missing from our lives today. The supportive, trusted networks of people nearby that parents and families can count on in times of need or relief. We're all running our lives to within an inch of possibility – with little margin for error or flexibility.
So when it turns out that I do need someone to come over, I am abundantly thankful that I can find someone. But increasingly, I've been obsessing over the question: how can we recreate the village? For parents, for kids, for the caregivers?
I need to believe in a future when I can consistently walk out that door with the same level of confidence and relief as if it's my mum taking care of the kids or that someone else.
Because wouldn't that be incredible?